Every
bride dreams of the perfect wedding day. Flowing gowns with glitters almost
blinding in the sun; fine wine, rich food, gaily dressed guests in an ambience
trapping in allure and conviviality typical only of paradise. So they hustle
and plunge in energy to plan for one day – a day like never before. They
undergo weight loss program just to fit into the wedding dress…
Marriage
is a journey of discovery and not a complex mathematical equation to be solved.
Unfortunately many people would rather focus on the destination rather than the
journey. They tend to focus on planning for the day [wedding] and forget the
essence of the day and the journey that marriage signifies.
In
this piece Oge Nwigbo, wife mother and accountant writes on the choices
people make when planning to spend their lives with their partners. She shares
with us the most obvious things that many choose not to see when planning to
settle down.
The
wedding is a destination, but the marriage is an eternal journey of discovery.
Enough
of me, please hear Oge.
OjisiEmzie
A
garden filled with flowers, roses of every kind, lilies and tulips. Sweet
fragrance fills the air and the sun shines like it rose just for me today. I
hear the piano, the violin and the harp. Music fills my ears and I know that
heaven must be close by.
I imagine little cupids flying and heaven
smiling down at me.
I walk down the aisle in my dress white as snow. I look at the man of my
dreams and smile. He is everything I want in a man and more. Joy fills my heart
and I am breathless.
I
stand before him and he smiles down at me. The reverend says the words which I
don’t hear because I am giddy with excitement. He says his vows and I say mine.
Finally we are man and wife and the world is mine.
The
guests are happy and filled. I ensured that everybody was fed and had more to
take home, I had the finest wine from Italy served to everyone rich and
middleclass alike and I am sure this wedding will be talked about for years to
come. It is the happiest day of my life. We went home and I had my night of
course. That’s every bride’s dreams.
Its
morning and I hear my husband in the bathroom, he sounds like he is crying and
I walked in. He was truly crying. I stood beside him wondering what was wrong.
Finally I summoned courage to ask what was wrong and I received the greatest
shock of my life. He had taken a loan to finance the wedding and a month before
the wedding he had received a sack letter from his company.
They
were relieving him of his duties because the country was in recession and they
were retrenching workers. His terminal benefit was used to offset his loan so
he wasn’t getting anything from his company. We had no savings because all of
it was used to finance our elaborate wedding and we owed others.
The
scales had been lifted from my eyes and now I could see properly. I asked why
he allowed us go ahead with the elaborate wedding; we could have sold the
Italian wine and bought less expensive ones. We could have cancelled the flower
orders and had the wedding in a normal hall and we would have been able to save
some money at least to start something.
Who
would believe me if I went to them for help. I could not have such an elaborate
wedding and beg for money the following week. And I asked myself what was most
important,the Wedding or the life after the wedding?
Your
wedding day is a special day that should bring you happiness every time you
remember it. Nothing should mar that day or its memory so be prudent in your wedding
budget as you may not get back all you have spent preparing for it.
Most
of the people who end up at your wedding will be guests of guests who are
guests of your parents. So what are you trying to prove?
If
I could turn back the hands of time, I would have done things differently. In
all I learnt my lesson and I hope you will learn from my mistake as well.
Oge
Nwigbo from Nnewi South, Anambra State , South East Nigeria is a graduate of philosophy Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka
though a practising accountant. She loves to write and read. (Fiction of
course)
