CHETA ONUECHETA'S PHOBIPHOBIA

08:11

When a psychologist by training writes on fear, you dare not throw it aside. We have heard of the various types of phobias and how perhaps to overcome them.

A phobia is an irrational fear, a kind of anxiety disorder in which the individual has a relentless dread of a situation, living creature, place or thing. Individuals with a phobia go to great lengths to avoid a perceived danger which is much greater in their minds than in real life. According to medicalnewstoday a phobia can be described as “an irrational fear, a kind of anxiety disorder in which the sufferer has a relentless dread of a situation, living creature, place or thing”

On the hand, Phobophobia is the fear of phobia(s), and more specifically, of the internal sensations associated with that phobia and anxiety, which binds it closely to other anxiety disorders, especially with generalized anxiety disorders (free floating fears) and panic attacks.

But Psychologist, freelance Writer Compere and serial entrepreneur Cheta Ikemsinachi takes us through the journey of phobiphobia, the story of his personal fears. Please read to the end and kindly share your comments let the conversation continue.

OjisiEmezie

I am very careful to put this down as vividly as it is in my heart. My heart is heavy and I think am gradually unbecoming of what I have becomed. Some are already seeing me as derailing and some are calling me to order. My crime is: I needed to rise above the fear that has been deposited in me since I can remember. Some of these includes:

1. The fear of losing, which I was made to know is caused by my sins, which makes me expect losing on any deal or exams or business when ever I feel I have sinned.

2. The fear of going to village and seeing so many evil people that don't mean well for me and my family.

3. The fear of the night and the dark places even in my house.

4. The fear of God not blessing me cos I lied or didn't pay my tithe.

5. The fear of my name being written in the book of death and curses because I had sex or better still pre-marital sex.

6. The fear of ghosts, witches and wizards that hovers in the night.

7. The fear of being killed by the person next to me if he or she learns of the good coming my way.

8. The fear that comes from the prophecies of those pastors, brothers, sisters and evangelists in those night vigils making me stay awake every midnight, casting away Devils and spiritual manipulations I barely know anything about which most times makes me weak to energise my dreams and weak to achieve my goals.

9. The fear that any of my bad dreams will come to pass if I don't pray against it for days. (major reason why I barred myself from dreaming. Yes I did)

10. The fear that comes from those litany of rules the church has given and the consequences which makes me feel I can never make heaven.

11. The fear that it's a sin to question what I was made to believe in and the fear that I have no other choice but to accept it or risk hell fire.

12. The fear that I may loose friends should they know my stance in anything.

13. The fear that am afraid to write this.

The irony is that in as much as I hear them speak and teach us to have courage and face the future, they always directly or indirectly remind us of the evils in this world and how we have no power over these except the power of God which they most times arrogate to themselves.

To curb this, I bought a new Catholic community Bible for myself and read it from the beginning to the end, I don't like the King James version cos of the way it twists verses to suit the leftist inclined people. I downloaded the English Arabic version of the Koran and read it from beginning to end. I read up igbo traditional religion and some commentaries by some chief priests of some of these deities. I will still re-read them again.

The word "fear not" appeared 365 times in the Bible. And appeared uncountable times in the Koran. In the Igbo traditional religion, we have Ndi Omari na Ndi Efulefu. The Ndi Omari knows all without fear, the Ndi Efulefu know nothing with great fear.

I have now decided not to listen to some people speak or preach. Some of their teachings and preaching will make you live your whole life In fear, unable to achieve anything substantial and will make you destroy your relationship with some of your friends. I know some people whose life have never being the same after they followed the teaching and admonition of some deluded preachers. I have also decided not to follow anyone, no matter who and no matter the coercion, to any vigil or adoration except on my own volition.

This is because I am tired of living the life others want me to live. The life the society expects me to live. The life the church wants me to live. The life the preachers want me to live. Am tired of living in a shell all these years.

Please nobody should threaten me with eternal death, we all will die someday anyway, and believe me nobody knows or have seen what happens after then except what we read or have been told . I have seen my friends die, I have seen my lovely dad die, I have seen loved ones die. I too have died so much that I want to live.

Please don't threaten me with the Bible, I have read it too, cover to cover. The difference is that the version I read is different from yours.

Please don't threaten me with curses from God and how he won't bless me because I sinned or committed one thing or the other. I have atheists and free thinking friends who commit so many things I can only and barely watch in movies yet they are far better, exposed and blessed more than me.

Please don't threaten me with my village people. I know people are bad and good everywhere; yes I see them, one practically destroyed the blocks used on my father's grave after the burial. The village church didn't come because of politics and because they weren't officially informed with a letter and some envelopes, upon the fact that my Most Honourable mum is the home and abroad president of the Catholic Women Organisation of my local Parish.

I Am now suffering from Phobiphobia: the fear of fear, and am now more at home with myself having discovered am more powerful than I can ever imagine.

2 Timothy 1:7. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and sound mind.