Every bride dreams of the perfect wedding day. Flowing gowns with glitters almost blinding in the sun; fine wine, rich food, gaily dressed guests in an ambience trapping in allure and conviviality typical only of paradise. So they hustle and plunge in energy to plan for one day – a day like never before. They undergo weight loss program just to fit into the wedding dress…

Marriage is a journey of discovery and not a complex mathematical equation to be solved. Unfortunately many people would rather focus on the destination rather than the journey. They tend to focus on planning for the day [wedding] and forget the essence of the day and the journey that marriage signifies.

In this piece Oge Nwigbo, wife mother and accountant writes on the choices people make when planning to spend their lives with their partners. She shares with us the most obvious things that many choose not to see when planning to settle down.

The wedding is a destination, but the marriage is an eternal journey of discovery. 

Enough of me, please hear Oge.

A garden filled with flowers, roses of every kind, lilies and tulips. Sweet fragrance fills the air and the sun shines like it rose just for me today. I hear the piano, the violin and the harp. Music fills my ears and I know that heaven must be close by.

I imagine little cupids flying and heaven smiling down at me.  I walk down the aisle in my dress white as snow. I look at the man of my dreams and smile. He is everything I want in a man and more. Joy fills my heart and I am breathless.

I stand before him and he smiles down at me. The reverend says the words which I don’t hear because I am giddy with excitement. He says his vows and I say mine. Finally we are man and wife and the world is mine.
The guests are happy and filled. I ensured that everybody was fed and had more to take home, I had the finest wine from Italy served to everyone rich and middleclass alike and I am sure this wedding will be talked about for years to come. It is the happiest day of my life. We went home and I had my night of course. That’s every bride’s dreams.

Its morning and I hear my husband in the bathroom, he sounds like he is crying and I walked in. He was truly crying. I stood beside him wondering what was wrong. Finally I summoned courage to ask what was wrong and I received the greatest shock of my life. He had taken a loan to finance the wedding and a month before the wedding he had received a sack letter from his company.

They were relieving him of his duties because the country was in recession and they were retrenching workers. His terminal benefit was used to offset his loan so he wasn’t getting anything from his company. We had no savings because all of it was used to finance our elaborate wedding and we owed others.

The scales had been lifted from my eyes and now I could see properly. I asked why he allowed us go ahead with the elaborate wedding; we could have sold the Italian wine and bought less expensive ones. We could have cancelled the flower orders and had the wedding in a normal hall and we would have been able to save some money at least to start something.

Who would believe me if I went to them for help. I could not have such an elaborate wedding and beg for money the following week. And I asked myself what was most important,the Wedding or the life after the wedding?

Your wedding day is a special day that should bring you happiness every time you remember it. Nothing should mar that day or its memory so be prudent in your wedding budget as you may not get back all you have spent preparing for it.

Most of the people who end up at your wedding will be guests of guests who are guests of your parents. So what are you trying to prove?

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would have done things differently. In all I learnt my lesson and I hope you will learn from my mistake as well.

Oge Nwigbo from Nnewi South, Anambra State , South East Nigeria  is a graduate of philosophy Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka  though a practising accountant. She loves to write and read. (Fiction of course)

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